Depraved Indifference

I've been cleaning out my room in preparation for YWAM. I don't know if you've ever gone through every single thing thats in your room all at one time but it has AMAZED me. I have SO MUCH stuff. So much, and for some reason, I'm often convinced that I don't have enough. 

In my give away pile I have at least 15 t-shirts. And my drawer is still over flowing with them. Many children in this world have ONE shirt that they wear every day, until it no longer fits. Taken out of my closet, my shoes take up most of the floor, when many children will walk around in absolute FILTH with no shoes at all. Putting up the dishes this morning, I could barely even stand to look in the cabinet. 43 normal sized plates we have the option of eating from every night. The silver ware is over flowing from the drawer and it pounds through my mind, "How many kids in this world have never even seen a fork?" I can pick up one of the many glasses we own and get water any time I want. "How many kids will go to bed tonight wanting water more than anything? How many kids will DIE today because they don't have access to water?"

These things are obviously nothing new or way out there, but they have hit me strongly today. I have lulled myself into thinking that I'm not that bad. The people who live in the REALLY big houses, with all those fancy fancy things, they are the ones that need to tone it down. They are the ones, in my mind, that have all the responsibility in changing their spending and giving more to the needy, but what about me? I can think of 10 places in my house that I could sleep very comfortably tonight, in privacy. Many families will all sleep in the one room that makes up their house, on the floor, crammed in a bed. What about all the clothes I found when cleaning out my room that I "forgot about." If I have those why did I just spend a bunch of money on MORE clothes this weekend? I keep thinking I need more and more and better and better, but why? My heart right now is longing for contentment. I long to look at this world with heaven as my true home. I know that I have been blessed in this life, but why am I convinced that these blessings are just for me and my family? Why do we all live like WE are the ones that deserve these blessings? I so long for my heart to be one that gives, that takes the blessings God has given me and gives them back to his people.

 34Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:34-40

27Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27

I long for a religion that is pure and undefiled before my God, and I pray that you would, too. 

I ask that you take a few minutes to watch this video. I totally get that most of you wont want to, because I never really do, but just do it :) I think it also helped a lot in putting these things on my mind:

(pause the music at the bottom)

DEPRAVED INDIFFERENCE: "callous disregard for human life"

I pray that God would wear down the callousness of our hearts.

And if you're feeling extra awesome, then listen to this song, because its that great. I've been listening to it while writing this post:

I hope these ramblings stir up something in your heart today, and I pray that you won't ignore it. 

Oh, how He loves us. 

Hawaii or Bust

Well, its official. In 31 days, I will be leaving for Kauai, Hawaii! I found out a little over a week ago that I got accepted to the YWAM base there and am SO PUMPED! I'm sure I'll be staring out at scenery like this every waking moment. :)

Ha I wish. I'll be in Kauai for 3 months. I have tried many times to tell people what I'll be learning while I'm in Hawaii and totally failed, so here is what the website says, "The Discipleship Training School (DTS), is designed to encourage students to develop in personal character, to cultivate a living relationship with God, and to identify their unique individual gifts and callings in God. Cross-cultural exposure and global awareness are special emphases throughout these courses, preparing the students to reach current and future generations and answer the call to… “Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations” – Matthew 28:19."  

After my time of learning and serving in Kauai, I will travel with the other students in my school to another country. The country we go to will be decided once we're all together, but I know it will be one that deals with an injustice. 

INJUSTICE: violation of another's rights or of what is right

The base I will be going to has a heart for injustices in our world. Things like unclean water, human trafficking, women in Africa, the adult industry and child soldiers are what this base longs to see ended. I love that I'm going to a place where God has given people the same passions as me. I can't wait to learn more about the injustices our world faces and act against them. Tonight I went to a wedding and heard this scripture. It really defines what I long for the YWAM experience to be for me:

                                          ¹⁰ if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry 

                                              and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,                                                                                                                                                                                

                                                then your light will rise in the darkness,
                                                and your night will become like the noonday.
                                            ¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
                                               he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land 
                                                         and will strengthen your frame. -Isaiah 58

 I pray that I would learn what it really means to spend myself on behalf of the needy. 

Tonight my heart is breaking for the drought crisis that is happening in East Africa. THIS article really opened my eyes to the devastation. These are the things that I so long to see ended.

I really pray that this time will be so sweet for me and my Father, that I would go with a moldable heart and opened ears. Please be praying for me as I spend my last month in Knoxville. Its crazy to think that I won't be back here for 8 months. Pray that I would prepare my heart for what God wants to do and the goodbyes that must take place. I know that September 6th will be such a bitter-sweet day for me. 

p.s. please excuse the random white high-lighting, I can't figure out how to make it go away :)