Encountering Jesus

This is a picture that speaks deeply to my heart. A picture of a boy-turned-dragon, wanting nothing more than to be a boy again. A boy who was so blind to his ugliness that it took something like turning into literal ugliness for him to see it. A boy, who staring into the face of this ugliness, cannot do anything about it on his own. And then comes the Lion. Who rips deep into the ugly dragon skin and pulls it off. Who says to the boy, "Let me clothe you," and dresses him in new clothing.

This is a picture of me. Realizing that my sins are overwhelming. unfixable. ugly. Realizing that I on my own, cannot do this. And encountering my Savior in a way that forever changes me, made new under His loving and capable hands. With Him, all is possible.

This is a picture of the Gospel in all its beauty. A picture of saving grace, that undeservedly covers us all. I am thankful today for this reminder, and the challenge to take this encounter with Jesus and love others better because of it. Because He first loved, I may love all the more.

Eustace renewed

(story from Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader)

Passion

I have been remarkably silent in these past four months. Honestly, I can't believe that it has been that long since I've held my sweet babies and laughed with my YWAM family. My heart has been remarkably silent in these last four months too. I have been comfortably living a simple life with a silent heart. And in the midst of this silence that has been slowly choking my faith, God spoke. I had the privilege of visiting a dear friend in Montana this past weekend. While there, I got to attend a simulcast of the Global Leadership Summit, which was amazing. Two of the speakers really struck me. They got up and spoke about the mission they were on as leaders against injustice. Their words were filled with passion, and it was evident that their lives overflowed with it. Listening to them made something in my heart ache. As I reflected on it later, I heard it. Passion. I have been living for a very long time with out passion. I've been living in the motions and on the tail end of others passion, but I have yet to make it my own. I have yet to deeply and passionately love my Abba- in a day to day reckless pursuit of him. I have yet to gain His passionate heart for the world- in a day to day prayerfully loving way. I have yet to let passion inspire me and drive me to greater than the average. I want passion. A strong and barely controllable emotion. I want to feel that about my Savior. I want to love him in a barely controllable, or better yet, uncontrollable way. I want to be driven in my pursuit of Him and his Kingdom on this earth.

After realizing this, I have begun to wonder what I truly could be passionate about, and where those passions might take me. I love kids, I love other countries, and my heart breaks for injustice, yet I find no passion. And then He spoke again. He spoke about culture. About the ways that cultures nourish poverty and injustice. He has been speaking about this for a while, but now the newfound hole in my heart for passion leaps. He has given me vision. I want to change cultures. With the gospel as my lead, I want to change the norm. I want to change the cultures that say its okay for daddies to sell their little girls. The cultures that say its okay for men to take horrific advantage of those innocent children. I want to change the cultures that base all they are on false gods. The ones that sacrifice so much time and money, when they have none, to try and satisfy made up idols. I want to change cultures that say the poor are worthless- and that they will never be anything different. The cultures that pride themselves on taking advantage of those less fortunate. The ones that shun the orphan and the widow and the sick. I want to bring the hope of the One who makes all things new. I want to bring the truth of the One who gives us all equal worth. I want to bring the name of the One who was and is and is to come. The Lord has given me passion. For his name to be made great and his people to know who they are in him. 

This is why I am right now sitting in my new home, Covenant College in Chattanooga, TN. I will be studying community development and pursuing this passion that the Lord has placed in me. I am excited. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for this, and I'm ready for a crazy ride!


I pray that you will all be stirred to passion by our Lord Jesus, who loves us in such a passionate way.